Planned Parenthood, Familia, Allergy Shots, What A Weekend

Damn, this whole weekend has been god damn interesting. You want to know why? Well, let me tell you lovelies.

This weekend Oct 1 through Oct 3, I drove up or over the bridge ninety minutes from San Francisco to visit the familia for the weekend. Many of you remember the tales of the familia and you can always read up on them from the rest of the blog. You better get to know my lovely familia members because they will most likely end up starring in a few posts every now and then if I visit them. Considering the lot of the familia and I are 'eccentric' and 'eclectic', we all usually end up in troubles of our own making and by the end of the night need a few members or even the cops to break it up. The cops story will be for another night ladies and gentleman. For now, let me focus on the weekend.

Well, I did visit them this weekend and the first thing I noticed after I unpacked my stuff from my car were the fact my youngest cousin had street signs in her front yard. Not signs you can buy as replicas from the stores with funny sayings on them but I mean the actual signs you would see out on the freeways and highways. I noticed a 'In Left Lane Must Turn Left' sign and an actual 'STOP' sign that looked very real to moi. I merely smiled at the signs and shook my head knowing it was useless to try and explain away just how the two managed to grab the signs. Plus, should the cops come around to ask, I could never turn in my cousins. Why? Familia is familia is...that is right, familia. Familia means a lot to moi even if they can get on my damn nerves and sometimes I cannot have them looking around in my closet and find boots, whips and corsets.

Now, I came into town to visit the familia on a Friday afternoon. That same Friday, I receive a lovely email from Awkward Guy. Not so much lovely, as, worrisome and a bit confused. Apparently, you all still think I might be sick not by allergies by something more nefarious of the flesh like a sexually transmitted disease. Some way, somehow, he thought the same thing because he felt something was off with his junk downstairs. He asked moi in the email if there was something I needed to admit to him and how he regretted the park excursion because now he was worried over potentially contracting an STI.

When I read the email, I smiled, shook my head and glanced up towards the sky in amusement. Why? The same week I went to the Erotic Film Festival which was September 23, I went to the doctor's to get a clearance on my sexual health on September 20th. Not only did I get put on a new birth control method (the injection in the arm which lasts for three months but I will switch over to the implant in my arm) but received the usual sexual tests to make sure I was not carrying gonorrhea, chlamydia, a few other diseases and of course, HIV. I was negative on everything and I was not sexually active with anyone during the week to meeting up with Awkward Guy at the film festival. Now I will say I am not belittling his concerns because fuck, I would be wondering if I did manage to get something from Not So Vanilla Guy in early September and somehow it did not show up on the tests.

Just to double check, I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood to get myself tested out as soon as I unloaded my dirty laundry to wash at my familia's place. I did not even get to give a hug to my baby nephew before I hopped my ass right back in the car and made the ten minute drive to the Planned Parenthood. Thankfully or maybe no so much thanks, someone canceled on their appointment and I managed to snag their time to see the doctor. Twenty minutes of waiting to be called, I was relieved to finally be called into the patient room and unload on how many partners I have been sexually active with in the past year and the recent six months.

Now, thinking on it, I forgot the exact number but it is between 6-15 depending on the type of sex engaged in i.e, oral sex, hand jobs, scissoring, strap on play, sharing of vibrators (with condoms) and then onto the sexual penetration of penis and vagina. Now I am very careful about making sure I am on top of letting an individual know the status of my sexual health and verifying their own is not sketchy or wary. With, Awkward Guy the need to have him overwhelmed the conscious need to double check he was not carrying the clap, crabs or even HIV. He was not active sexually with anyone but STI's can be dormant or not even have any symptoms. Luckily, through the exam and the questionnaire, the results came around of this visit: Negative on everything including HIV (which by the way, the female nurse pricked the hell out of my ring finger).

With my sexual health status now and finally assured for the second time I was fine, it was time to figure out whether I had allergies or the flu. Let me skip the whole ordeal with the doctor and confirm now that I do have allergies. My allergies kicked up because I mouth fucked and enjoyed myself with Awkward Guy in the park. My own stupidity made me enjoy my delicious self in a park where I could have kicked up pollen but all of it has now been solved by receiving a nice and long needle injection in my ass. Yes, in the cheek of my ass to which was administered by my female cousin who is a nurse and was not concerned with sticking me in a cheeky area. Yes, I know bad motherfucking pun.

Once the sexual health scare and noticing the cousins were stealing signs were over, the rest of the weekend was actually relaxing. Just as I updated you readers on what I was up to (sans a few XXX items) to the madre and padre (mother and father), I reacquainted with the daily schedule of the familia and the household. When I am gone for a month, I miss out on a lot of things. Fights, tiffs, surprises and finding out my niece has glasses because her own vision is shot to hell. Poor darling but she rocks those glasses well.

I will say when I am with the familia, I unwind, put away the corset, the boy toys and female loves to focus on bonding with the clan. As the years go by, I know familia will be around when I get rid of the louses in my life or break up with the next potential ex-lover. I have no idea what Awkward Guy's test results will show and unless I managed to sleep-sex someone in the last few days leading to the park excursion, I will eat my own god damn leather boot. Well, not the good boots but maybe the ones already chewed up by submissives who enjoy a good meal of leather and latex.

Whip in one hand and apple in the other,

Miss Marguerite

P.S.: The picture is from the movie Pretty Baby starring a young Brooke Shields as a baby prostitute and Susan Surandon as her whore of an actual mother.

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