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This morning, I woke up to the sound of an alarm clock singing a tune or was it the alarm on the cell phone? I have no clue because the ring tone was to the roommate I now have sleeping in her twin bed to the left to me. It is strange, somehow to wake up in a place which was not the one I have lived in for the past twenty years. Out of place not to see loved ones and familiar faces outside my bedroom door or coming over to drop off a plate of mole or pizza. It is sort of sad really and slightly pathetic to have been excited to move to a new place, start a new chapter and a day later miss the people who are only an hour and a half away. I am close to the family even if some do not realize my lifestyle. For myself, I chose not to inform the younger relatives of it because it is their choice to ask why Aunt or cousin Marguerite has various boyfriends and girlfriends. Why does Aunt Marguerite seem to have strange men calling her to confirm a 'date' and leave for three hours every other month? Plus how did Aunt Marguerite end up with a large amount of money in her wallet when yesterday she only had a few dollars (I am . All of these questions will be answered one day in the future when my nieces and nephews choose to learn about the lifestyle I lead.

Now, I was supposed to go to Target which was a good twenty minutes from the new place and instead I ended up in DC which is sidled up close to the neighborhood I am living in; always have a hard time pronouncing the city. Nevertheless, I ended up in a shopping center where I parked and headed out. There are times when the fear of the unknown stops a person from experiencing it. I used to have the problem, I still do when it likes to sneak up on me but in a new place with new surroundings, I have made the active choice to put myself even more out there than I did when I was younger. Well, not as much since I doubt wearing a leather corset to class will be the best choice (not because of whistles of appreciation but the weather will surely give me a cold if I wear less than few layers of clothing) and instead try to be more practical about clothing and accessories.

Honestly, I am not much of an exercise person but two years ago I was active into getting into shape and keeping myself lean. Of course this also led me to having a slight eating disorder (cutting from 1500 calories to 600-700 calories) and obsessing over calories as a way to control the feelings had over body image. While I may have lost a considerable amount of weight, it held its advantages and most of all consequences. The advantages of healthy eating and exercising helped me to fit into smaller sizes, feel better inside and out and be able to run around with my nieces and nephews. The disadvantages was the dark circles under my eyes, loss of taste, abdominal pain, headaches, low immunity (this was the time I came down with not only flu but bronchitis, hard enough I ended up going to the hospital after finals to pump liquids and antibiotics) and hair loss. The price to become thinner was a heavy one to take but after the hospital visit I visited a nutritionist to set up a plan to eat well and make sure I never ended up in the hospital again.

Why does this relate back to this day?

In a city like San Francisco, it boasts various tourist attractions and neighborhoods. What the guidebook forgets to mention is the hills. The hills which are brutal on a body that exercises only when it comes to dominating and training pets and new Dominants. I am not implying nor purposefully giving the image of myself as a lazy and overly obese individual. Not at all, I am 5'4 and the proportion of my body holds more in the chest, hips and ass area. In other words, I am stacked well. Familia tells me I have my grandmother's wide hips which boasts well if I ever wanted to have children. Now, children are not in my future but more on that later. Back to the relationship of weight and San Francisco.

Walking around in the shopping mall in DC, I realized I wanted to be active again, more so than I am now. As I walked around and explored, I knew this new environment would give me another head start at keeping up with eating healthy but making sure not to slide back into my old obsession. Do not fret, the weight obsession was crushed after I came to accept myself and highlight the best parts while downplaying those which need a bit of help. As of yet, I have not had complaints and if there are complaints, I tell them to move on out while I search for someone else who appreciate me for, of course, me.

Now while I walked, I somehow ended up in the city library for three hours to read a book I could have checked out but alas there are rules to receiving a library card. It has been years since I used an actual library because with the use of half.com, Amazon and various other websites, being able to buy books and have them sent to my home address is a great convenience. Now, with the move, most of the books have been placed underground and with money tight as a virgin about to have their first time with a lover, I have to find other ways to enjoy a good book or two. Two hours and two phone calls from familia passed before I made my way back to the shopping center to spend a bit on two pillow. I originally was given on pillow in the care package but two pillows help to alleviate any pains made by fluffing the pillow or smooshing it in half to get leverage for my neck.

The rest of the day passed as quickly though emotions ran high towards the night when my thoughts plagued me. Damn thoughts and stress kept me awake and ended up sleeping only a few hours. Perhaps sleep will visit me again and I will not have to worry about the cold seeping into the room.

Whip in one hand and tempting apple in the other

Miss Marguerite

Originally posted August 17th, 2009 - Day After Moving Day