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Spank me, flog me, but do it with care is something everyone should keep in their minds when it comes to BDSM or Master/slave(submissive) relationships. There is a fine line that can easily cross into an abusive relationship if not handled with care. Individuals may disagree with my response and I welcome you to add your commentary to the blog if you want to talk about your story or opinion on the matter.
Now, with the force and if force is not used in a M/s relationship then it is not considered M/S is total bullshit. Sorry, for the language, but using force against a slave just to be considered the title of Master/Mistress is not what the process is about. Yes, there are instances where force might be needed, i.e., slave becomes unruly and needs a good punishment and a few others. However, if someone were to always use force on a slave to get him/her to do something, it simmers it down to really an abusive relationship with or without sex thrown into it. Hell, if I wanted to slap around someone to do something for me or to me, I might as well have roped in a lover and abuse the hell out of him/her.
Now, a M/S relationship is one that is based on trust. Here is how trust can be considered:
The person enslaving or giving themselves over to said owner are trusting this person will either:
a. Mold them to the specifications an owner wants in a healthy manner
b. Use them as a slave can and should be used with their mind, body, and soul in the hands of someone who can easily crush them and harm them but should not
c. Make sure he/she never regrets giving themselves over to said owner
How in the flipping A can a person give themselves over to another unless he/she expected or wanted to be forced to do things that even he/she loathes. Myself, I dislike bathroom training and using slaves as one, unlike what I am starting to notice around the places I have seen around the bend.
No one can ever force someone wholeheartedly into doing something he or she might not like. Instead, there is the pushing of limits and seeing where a slave or submissive can open their mind up to.
Now, I am not going to force nor should anyone force a straight male slave to conduct sexual pleasure with another male especially if they are naive and new to the game. That will no doubt lead to the male in question to back off from the other male and from myself. He, the slave or submissive, will become hesitant to listen to my commands. Instead, I would go about showing the hesitant males that loving another man or even performing with another man sexually does not emasculate him. Instead, he might find out he enjoys both sexes or can find more pleasure in knowing he pleased his owner in at least trying it out. Better than shoving the slave or submissive onto another male's lap and forcing them to perform an act against their own will.
I do not know, I see there are individuals who I can see as loving and healthy (in mind, body and spirit) Dom's and Dommes but there are those that feel he/she can pick up the whip and crack it without consequences. In reality, those who think, once again, think using force against a slave are Masters'/Mistress' are really users/abusers and mar the true nature of M/S and a slap to the face to the real ones.
That is my two cents ladies and gentlemen. Take it or leave, but I have had my say.
With a whip in one hand and tempting apple in the other,
Written originally in 10.15.2008 and rewritten over the years